Maintaining control when there is seemingly none

In the current state of the society, it seems as though more and more parties are vying for control over people, over us. Is the power to control us increasing over time or is it just becoming more obvious over time? From regulations over privacy matters (governing ways in which data can or can not be shared) to technological devices (hardware) and applications (software) designed to be easy to use and convenient (so that people are hooked into using them all the time). Even the design of the society aims to control an individual from young. Do we really have a choice not to be educated by educational institutional in this day and age? Well, at least for most developed countries, education is compulsory. Eventually, work would replace education (at least until retirement).

There are different schools of thoughts. Some might argue for entrepreneurship (be your own boss), freelancing, building passive income and so on to regain control over your time and, somewhat, gain freedom to do what matters to you. That’s absolutely wonderful. However, not everyone will succeed. Different people have different knowledge and skills. In order to be successful in working independently, you not only need the network, courage, perseverance, grit and some financial freedom. Not everyone could succeed in that. Then, how about considering migrating to somewhere else with a lower cost of living? Yet, not everyone can leave their homeland easily (depending on your priorities such as family, friends, long-term assets, education, healthcare, and more).

Now, what if you stay? Is there a way to regain some form of control in an environment where an individual autonomy is usually not respected? The answer, at least for me, is yes.

Determine what’s within your sphere of control and what’s not. Focus on those within your sphere of control, and learn to let go of those that’s not. Being emotionally detached might not always be a bad thing, especially when you are dealing with human relationships professionally (in school or at work). If all else fails, walk away and bring yourself into a different environment and try again. Life is never rosy. But even you fell and no one around you cares enough to lend you a hand, remember you can always stand back up on your own and walk away. At least you learn that these people are not worth your time. No need to struggle to please them when there is no guarantee that what you do would. Let go and you’ll start feeling better soon.

Yes, there bound to be losses when you let go. Loss of familiarity, comfort, friends, colleagues, classmates, power, reputation, etc. But if you keep holding on to them and being controlled by what others’ expect of you, then there won’t be any space other opportunities (conscious or unconscious) that you might encounter. More importantly, everything might seem to be beyond your control if you keep yourself in such an environment. When all else seem out of control, know that you still can control yourself (how to think, how to deal with the situation, how to feel, how to stay positive, and how to get away from those whom try to control you).



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