Naïve thinking doesn’t pay off. Being practical might be better after all.
Learning is a lifelong journey. I am in the rocky sea of these long and dreadful one. On the bright side, being aware of that is the first step to change. If you are unhappy with where you are, the worst thing you can do is “inaction” or, in the words of my colleague → leave it to fate. That wouldn’t work out well and might even result in more regret.
The recent life events taught me the fact that one is better off living for oneself. Instead of helping and living for the “best of the society or economy”. For some reason, I am starting to think that humans are just not meant to think and live this way. Sitting on the fence for now and trying out an alternative and see how that would turn out. Life is just too short to sit back and accept all the shit that the society, economy and organisations throw at you.
Here are the reasons why I think that things turn out to be not okay when you decision is made based on the circumstances of others, even you may have some selfish agenda (e.g., working under someone whom you can learn a lot from).
- Reduction in compensation and resources you have available
The above may not matter as much if you have enough net worth or earning enough for a comfortable retirement. Unfortunately, I am not earning that much after all. Furthermore, I was under the impression that I can afford the recent expenses given the reduction in health issues and financial burdens of my family. However, the recent events (i.e., death of a loved ones, financial losses due to early termination of helper’s contract, and health issues resulting in loss of income and recognition of work effort) have changed my perspectives quite impactfully. When these happened almost concurrently, it is indeed fearful and scary. All the uncertainties and unfairness that I am feeling. No one will be able to help. They just “claim they would” and leave you to fend for yourself. How unfortunate. That’s why it’s kind of stupid to think that way to begin with. I used to believe in more equity and equal distribution of resources. But everyone is just for themselves.
2. Control lies in the hands of others and not yours
It is stupid to leave the stability and certainty of your life and days in the hands of others. Probability wise. If you decide on an offer, work, study because of your mentor, lecturer, friend, then what if they leave after you decided to accept the offer. If you have a good team, it might still be okay. There is a possibility that nothing works out after that. Increasing the proportion of control you have over your life and decision is almost always better than leaving it to others. Of course, being fully in control is usually just a myth unless you are the few little privileged ones. Even then, there could be things that can happen which you have no control over. Natural disaster, accidents, health issues, mental issues, and any unforeseen circumstances and risks (like COVID-19, terrorism and more).
3. You’re just not happy and motivated as you are previously due to the lack of autonomy and increased red tapes
One thing that I didn’t realise matter to me was the autonomy given to me to do my work. The lack of autonomy means that they don’t trust the quality of my work. Consistent surveillance is needed with many rework, recalls, redo, red tapes on trivial matters like grammar errors, spelling errors, and political or power play. Sometimes it made me wonder if anyone is trying to get anything done. You are already so busy, yet you are making things so difficult. Even initiatives or process improvements that clearly bring about increased efficiency needs to go through layers after layers of discussion, persuasions, and approval from the management before things even start. How detrimental this is to productivity from the organisation perspective. However, one can argue that it’s for alignment and risk management of unforeseen impacts to the organisation. But consider how detrimental it is to the employee who wishes to bring value to the organisation, and yet being talk down upon, being dissuaded, and stopped from doing anything about a problem that he/she is trying to solve. The thing is he/she may or may not get any additional compensation for solving the problem. Just trying to work and do their job. Yet, it’s so tough. You lose energy, anticipation, and motivation. And that’s it.
That’s why as much as others might dissuade me from doing so. I need an alternative and I ought to find it.
